Tattoos and Life Alert????

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What have I been up to???

Not a whole lot…. as usual. I did however get my Life Watch heart monitor in the mail Tuesday. I have to wear this stupid thing for 30 days to see if I have an arrhythmia. Hopefully I don’t and it’s just POTS, but nothing in my life ever seems to go easy…. At least my weekend was a little better!

I spent Saturday sitting for 2 solid hours covering up the ‘first bad decision’ I made the minute I turned 18. You see…. Like a lot of kids out there, I had the thought all of us get the second we ‘turn legal’. I was doing something bad ass . Something that my parents never would have let me do while still needing their permission. A light bulb went off in my head right then! I needed to get a tattoo! Yes! I was doing it! There was no way they could stop me now! The same week I turned 18, I went with a friend and had it priced. Of course, it was my first one and I had no clue how much it was going to hurt. So I played it safe (but if you have tattoos, or are a tattoo artist you know the foot is one of the most PAINFUL places to get one) and went with the foot. I could cover it up for work and nobody had to know about it unless I wasn’t wearing shoes. I decided to get 5 little stars. Girly right? Yeah, I know. Why you ask? I don’t know, but I’ve always had this fascination with them… so I guess that’s why. Anyway…. I loved my tattoo! I was the only one of my friends that had one! It was awesome! Awesome for maybe 3 years…. I had to have it touched up so many times it started to fade into this solid black caterpillar looking thing. I even had someone ask me why I had a caterpillar on my foot!!!! My reaction was always ‘UGH! IT’S NOT A DAMN CATERPILLAR! THEY’RE STARS! STARS PEOPLE! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THIS????’  **Insert dramatic hand gestures and eye rolling** Well after about 3 years of bitching and moaning about it I finally got it covered. With what? A peacock feather. Yes, the girl who does my tattoo’s hand drew this with a pen. She’s awesome. It’s not finished just yet. Still need the color added… the point is, I sat for a solid 2 hours without a break. When she was all done, she looked at me and said “You took that like a man.” Fuck yeah! I have balls to get my feet tattooed… Which I have both done BTW.

I had several people ask why I chose a peacock feather. I know they’re pretty popular because they’re ‘cute, girly, feminine,’ etc. No. That’s not why I got mine…. My sister has always described me as a cross between a Magpie and a Peacock to others. Look it up. You’ll be able to figure out my personality pretty quickly. While I happened to be browsing pictures on Google, I came across this quote from someone.

“On one hand, the peacock is this beautiful bird, with connections to the divine. On the other, the peacock can be a terribly, terribly obnoxious bird. They emit horrible screeches and can be awfully aggressive…. A perfect symbol of humanity itself.”

So this picture shows the covering of my first stage of rebellion. I went on 6 months later to shove a needle through my cheek to piss off a guy…. yeah. I know. I was one of those girls, but piercings could be an entirely different post ( I have 15).

Tattoo #1 Original in the corner…. Tattoo1

Of course, they all say once you get one, you’re addicted…..

Tattoo #2 On the bottom is the original… I had it added to back in June. One of my best friends has the large music note on her back….. yes, we’re still friends and I like both the before and after of this one. This one hurt…. both times around…. a lot. I have a very strong connection with music and literally can’t function without it. Take it away from me and I would probably die.

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Tattoo #3 A Breast Cancer ribbon and two flowers for my mom. I originally got it the same year she was first diagnosed. I’ll never regret this one…. My foot BLEW THE FUCK UP when I got this one. The crazy chick who did it had a very heavy and. I couldn’t walk for like, 2 days.

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Tattoo #4 My butterflies for my mom who pass as well as my Nona. At my grandmother’s funeral a butterfly came and sat on a family members finger until it was over then flew away. My grandparents always had monarch butterflies at their house when we were little…. then we started seeing them in the strangest places for unexplained reasons. Everyone in my family started to say she was a butterfly. The day of my mom’s funeral my cousins and I were all hanging out together just doing random stuff when 3 white butterflies started hanging around. My great grandmother passed away a year ago…. 1 butterfly for each of them…. Then back in June, 2 months after my mom passed, something happened to my family. My dad and I had to go to court and face this jerk…. There were 3 Large black and yellow butterflies hovering around the bottom of our driveway. The strange thing was that my sister had left once before us that morning and saw them. They were still there when she left later for work long after we were gone…. weird huh? A few weeks after my mom passed I decided to go and get butterflies. I was originally going to get strictly monarchs but I let it up to my artist on the condition that there was at least one. I’ll never regret these beauties either. I like to think of them as a good luck charm I take with me everywhere 🙂

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That brings me to Tattoo #5 I have a cross tattooed on the inside of my left wrist. I never was one to be comfortable in a church. I always felt people just stared at me… like they were judging me for reasons I didn’t know about. Well anyway…. I’ve been through a lot and I’ve discovered other things…. It’s just something that gives me a little bit of comfort. I don’t care if it offends someone. To each his own.

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I have at least 2 more that I want. My cousins and I are very close, a lot closer than most, and we’re planning out matching ones. I’m still tossing up the idea of getting some old school roses tattooed on the side of my upper thigh…. Not many people know this, but when I was younger I was the type of person that SWORE I’d NEVER get a tattoo in my life….. Well now I have 5 and I love every single one of them!

Sunday was my dad’s 59th birthday. But if you ask me, he was 595 thanks to the entire bottle of wine I drank myself before dinner…. keep in mind, my sister still trusted me to grill steak in my drunken state… I still have all of my my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes thank you very much! Oh, and I didn’t burn my dad’s birthday steaks! Anyway… this is our conversation that transpired while we were getting ready to eat cake….

Erin: So we didn’t exactly have enough candles for your cake.
Me: We’re out now, but we put 5 here and 9 over there and you get 5 more to grow on. So that makes you…. 500 and 9,5? How do I say that?
Dad: 595?
Me: WHY AM I SO STUPID???? I CAN’T EVEN SAY 595 RIGHT!
Dad: Because you’ve been drinking all day.

I also broke 2, yes 2, vacuum cleaners that day.

He’s so proud of me.

xoxo

-L.

And now it’s time for your Weekend Update…..

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I basically became a mermaid on Saturday. 

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Mermaid3Anyone that knows me knows that if I had the opportunity to quit my boring ass job to become a mermaid….

I’D DO IT! 

I’d be the coolest mermaid, like ever.

How many mermaids do you know that have tattoos?

None?

Really?

I’ll change that.

So while I had fun in the sun pretending to be The Little Mermaid, it wasn’t all quite fun and games. You see, my friend’s two year old isn’t that big a fan of water…. So I decided to casually walk her in a little at a time to get her used to it. Awesome idea right?

WRONG.

She hated the water…. but her mom made sure to snap a pic of me attempting to take her in. This is how it turned out.

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I look like a giant walking off with this teeny tiny little innocent child.

And my ass is super flat as you can all see.

I’m a giant with a flat ass who got to play mermaid with 4 rambunctious children.

All in all, it was a pretty good day.

xoxo

-L.

 

So Basically What You’re Saying Is…..

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“YOU NEED TO SLOW YOUR LIFE DOWN.” – Direct quote from my new doctor yesterday……

MY RESPONSE:

 

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To put it simply, I’m lazy….. that is when it comes to getting ready for work in the morning…. ok, I’m just lazy in general…. I’ve used my shirt as a snack bowl for my pretzels once because I was too lazy to take 5 steps back in the kitchen…. anyway…

I’m that person that has to set 3, yes 3 alarms, to get up in the morning. It goes like this….

Alarm #1 6:15 – I should get up and take a shower so I don’t look like a homeless person….. nah.

Alarm #2 6:45 – Get your ass up, you know you need to get up now…. just kidding…. snooze.

Alarm #3 7:00 – Fuck, I have 30 minutes. Where are my pants? Fuck. I hate pants. Oh shit, I just jumped out of my bed (more like rolled and almost fell) and now I want to pass out…. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to slowly get out of bed. Sit up for a minute, hang your feet over the edge, then stand S-L-O-W-L-Y. 

FUCK. THAT. SHIT. 

I’ve worked in health care settings for quite some time now…. I know shit. I also know that when I’m old I’m going to be one of those people that refuse everything as I’m gasping for my last breath lying on the floor with 85 broken bones. I’m non compliant. I’m a creature of habit. I’m stubborn. I’m not good at listening. Whatever. I’m probably going to keep jumping out of bed until I black out one morning….. haha day off of work anyone????

I always was one for learning the hard way so of course it only annoyed me when the doctor started in on her ‘lifestyle change’ speech. I’m a girl with an agenda. My agenda consists of trying to do 30 million hours worth of whatever in an 8 hour work day. I should probably add ‘Planting A Money Tree’ to my list since I have a feeling that all these tests are going to rob me of my hard earned money…. health insurance is a joke. I pay for it, but yet it basically covers shit. Whatever, different topic all together….. But anyway, her ‘changing everything you basically do in your life’ rant made me realize how annoying POTS really is when you start to think about it…. I feel for those who can’t work or do much of anything as it is so severe…. 

So I guess what I’m really saying is I have a lot to learn about this.

I need to change my life…. S-L-O-W-L-Y (Please don’t anyone hold your breath for this)

I need to stop being stubborn and I should probably listen to this doctor. (Or this)

And I should stop trying to self diagnose. (Ok, this one too)

I’m not a doctor, but I was pretty spot on with this shit. Go me! 

xoxo 

-L.

 

 

I Got 99 Problems…

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…And A Bitch Ain’t One.

Sorry, no. I’m not Jay-Z. I wish I was…. or Beyoncé because, well, she’s Beyoncé! 

I’ve just come to the realization that my life has come down to a series of labels. I’m either This, That, or The Other Thing…. or I have This but not That, but maybe I have that…. yeah I DO have that…. No, no I don’t. I need to block WebMD. But really…. I sat and thought about it…..

I’ve got a syndrome and 3 disorders, but I bet you can’t even guess one! ….. Hahah…hahaha… ha…ha? 

Ok, it sounded funnier in my head…. looks like it’s time for bed. Shit, I need to stop…. but I can’t stop, and I won’t stop….

No, I’m stopping. I just drew the line myself. Thank you bad Miley Cyrus joke. 

xoxo – L.

 

 

5 More Reasons Evgeni Malkin Is Having An Awesome Summer

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My Fave 🙂

CBS Pittsburgh

PITTSBURGH (KDKA) – Back in June, we first highlighted what a great summer Pittsburgh Penguins center Evgeni Malkin was having.

Well that was June.

A week before September and the beginning of Pens training camp, and Geno is making up for lost time in the fun department.

French Open? Check.

Fishing, Fishing, and more fishing? Check.

Meeting Russian President Vladimir Putin? Check.

Swimming with sharks? Check.

Now let’s take a look at some of Malkin’s most recent awesome moments, thanks to his Instagram.

First there was: Top 5 Reasons Evgeni Malkin Is Having A Better Summer Than You

Now we bring you… 5 More Reasons Evgeni Malkin Is Having An Awesome Summer:

5. Got to play with some really big glasses. Maybe he could bring a pair of these back for the NHL officials this season?

4. Hanging out with a creepy wax Joseph Stalin.

3. Putin, Putin, and more…

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Well here it goes….

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So I finally decided to join the blogging world…. I may have made attempts before but that really didn’t work out all too well…. mostly because I forget…. like a lot. So after spending the last few hours raking the internet looking for info on my newly diagnosed ‘syndrome’ I found lots and lots of blogs…. cool right? Yeah! So I click…. nobody’s posted to them in like 3 years…. SHIT. That doesn’t help me. Why the hell do these people start shit if they aren’t going to follow through with it…. Oh wait…. GUILTY. … -_-  

 

Anyway! This is my attempt to maybe find out some other info about this lovely diagnosis I’ve been given today….

POTS SYNDROME or POSTURAL ORTHOSTATIC TACHYCARDIA SYNDROME

It sucks. I’ve spent the last year and a half being told it was anxiety (which I do have, who doesn’t these days though???) and that it was basically all in my head. One doctor blamed it on medication and then proceeded to tell me because I’m young and I LOOK like a healthy and athletic individual he wasn’t really concerned. Really? COME. THE. FUCK. ON! Is that what you spent all your parents hard earned money on to learn in med school? If so, you should get a refund and take that medical degree off your wall….. I may LOOK healthy and athletic….. I’m NOT. ….. Athletic that is…. I trip over curbs that aren’t there…. I walk into doors and walls multiple times a day…. other than that I’m pretty damn healthy! Oh wait…. except for the fact that I have a good portion of the following symptoms…. (THANKS GOOGLE)

  • Dizziness (EACH AND EVERY DAMN TIME I STAND UP)
  • Fainting or passing out (syncope) (NOT YET, BUT ALMOST)
  • Fast heart rate (tachycardia) (WE’RE TALKING 140’S RESTING, BABY!)
  • Chest pain (HAVEN’T HAD THIS MUCH, IF AT ALL)
  • Headache (FUCKIN’ CLUSTER HEADACHES ALL THE DAMN TIME!)
  • Severe fatigue (ESPECIALLY AFTER A LONG EPISODE OF THE TACHYCARDIA! AND NO, IT’S NOT A DINOSAUR.)
  • Difficulty concentrating (“brain fog”) (WHO DOESN’T HAVE THIS???)
  • Feeling worse in very hot or very cold temperatures (HOT USUALLY DOES IT FOR ME)
  • Feeling worse with exercise (DEPENDS)
  • Insomnia (difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep) (MY LIFE.)
  • Nausea or vomiting (YAY! A SYMPTOM I DON’T HAVE!)
  • Diarrhea or constipation (DON’T HAVE THIS EITHER… THANK GOD!)
  • Feeling full quickly with eating (early satiety) (FEELS LIKE I WANT TO BARF EVERY TIME I EAT SOMETHING)
  • Blood collecting in the legs (venous pooling) (PRETTY SURE I HAVEN’T EXPERIENCED THIS EITHER)
  • Joint or muscle pain (I’VE HAD THIS FOR  YEARS…. DON’T BEAT UP YOUR BODY!)
  • Worsening symptoms with bright light or loud sounds (HAVEN’T NOTICED…..)

I also ready that you can develop Dysautonomia disorders after having Lyme’s disease… which I had…. 4 years ago… Even though it was successfully treated with antibiotics. 

So today, after dragging my feet and basically just putting it off because I hate doctors (yeah, I’m one of those people) I finally saw a cardiologist. I still have to get an echo-cardiogram done…. great way to spend my Friday off, huh? I also have to wear a monitor for several weeks that will keep track of my ‘episodes’. Even more fun. Hopefully this is one I can shower with… Ew, it better be… 3 weeks of no showering because of annoying itchy electrodes stuck to my skin??? Nope, I’ll take my chances on blacking out randomly over being smelly….. just kidding… I don’t really want either to happen, but I’d rather not crash my car on a 3 lane highway on the way to work. Shitty way to go…. If you haven’t figured it out, my sense of humor is a little sick…. ok a lot sick… It’s how I deal with things. 

Anyway….. It’d be awesome if any of you poor souls who stumble upon this that have POTS or think you have it commented and let me know about your experiences, past or present, with it. If you think you might have it and are struggling with doctors, like I did, just grab em’, give em’ a shake, and yell THE FEELS ARE REAL!!!!! Shake repeatedly for desired results or until security escorts you out and right to the loony bin…. just kidding… Don’t do that. I mean do it if you have to. I’m not the boss of you. I don’t own you. I don’t tell you what to do. The only thing I AM TELLING you to do is don’t ignore it or put it off like I did. I put it off because my mom was terminally ill…. she was more important at the time…. but don’t. It can be pretty serious. Some people can’t work because they can’t get out of bed. Some people can’t stand up without passing out…. I can, thankfully. 

I guess this is enough garbage to throw out at you for my first official blog post…. sounds fancy or like it’s a big deal, I know it’s not. It’s 2014… You’re probably wondering if I’ve ever used the internet before…. YES. Facebook, duh. Jk… how many times have I said that? Probably more than I should. Whatever. YOLO, right? No. First and last time I’ll ever use that…. SORRY. 

CONGRATS TO YOU IF YOU ACTUALLY GOT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS!

WHAT A CHAMP!

YOU MUST HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO OTHER THAN READ THIS….

….WHICH MEANS I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO OTHER THAN WRITE THIS GARBAGE. 🙂 

Until Next Time….. xoxo

-L.